Breaking the Cycle of Codependency
Bonds of a relationship are the key to our survival as a species. We have countless interpersonal connections throughout our lives and these shape who we are. However, rarely are we educated on how healthy relationships work (high school doesn’t teach a class on relationships). Most often, we learn from our own relationships as we grow up.
Dysfunction can follow you into future relationships in a cycle of misplaced need and hurt. Our holistic approach to psychotherapy at Sabino Recovery uniquely qualifies us to address codependency and other relationship-based difficulties. Our holistic codependency treatment is closely tied to our expertise in dual diagnosis mental health treatment, allowing us to address underlying trauma and co-occurring disorders that often fuel unhealthy relationship patterns. Our mission is to make our residents whole, helping them to heal as we get to the root of the problem and break the cycle of codependency.
What is Co-Dependency
In psychology, codependency refers to one person’s behaviors and attitudes rather than the partnership as a whole. Someone who is codependent frequently bases their identity on the needs of another. As such, they may rely on others to affirm their self-worth. To gain the feeling of acceptance, a codependent person may ignore their own desires, needs, or emotions. A codependent person frequently attempts to save others from themselves. Some of the characteristics of codependency are:
- Difficulty defining boundaries
- Difficulty adapting to change
- A strong desire for acceptance and recognition
- Getting offended when people do not acknowledge your effort
- A tendency to give more than your fair share all the time
- Mixing up love and pity
- Overestimating of your responsibility for the conduct of others
Trauma and Codependency: When Two Halves Don’t Make a Whole
At Sabino Recovery, treating trauma is built into the DNA of our programs. Healthy relationships are possible when we learn to voice our needs without guilt or shame. Those negative feelings often come from long-held trauma. Codependency has been described as “a dance of wounded souls,” a mystical phrase illustrating something very real: codependency results when two people are in pain and act in ways that continue the toxic cycle.
The origin of the hurt may be dysfunctional family relationships experienced growing up. Survival mechanisms to cope with complex trauma in the past may be the only working basis for a relationship. If it was unsafe to be vulnerable, carefree, and honest about one’s emotions in childhood, it can be traumatic. Being punished for expressing your ideas or feelings, or for being immature, flawed, or having needs and desires, can leave lasting impressions. You may have been ignored or abandoned, leading to the conclusion that you cannot trust or rely on anybody.
You may take on an adult persona while young to care for a struggling parent. In adult relationships, when your partner struggles, you save the day–taking on another’s responsibilities while denying your own wants and needs. This can happen unconsciously and without bad intent on either side. Of course, healthy relationships are about caring for one another, but when one person experiences shame for having their own needs, things are out of balance. Enmeshment can occur when the healthy boundaries of a relationship become poorly defined. Re-establishing these boundaries with the help of our therapeutic team can breathe new life into a relationship.
At Sabino Recovery, we believe that happy relationships result from two emotionally whole and healthy people. You will reconnect with yourself, receive the care you need to treat past trauma, and learn vital self-care skills. We can treat the trauma that leads to codependency using evidence-based modalities, such as eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy. Psychodrama therapists help us step outside ourselves, learn from our past, and see the dynamics of our relationships come to life in a safe environment. We recognize that beneath the cycle of codependency are people with wounds who can make themselves whole again.
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Shame: Dispelling the Curse
The emotion at the core of codependency is often shame and having negative feelings about yourself. Whereas guilt is often interpreted as “I’ve done something bad,” shame can make a person feel that “I am something bad.” It drains our energy and makes us feel terrible while suggesting only solutions that are unhealthy, e.g., “If I fix this for them, I will feel ok.” When you are in a codependent relationship, you feel shame for having wants and needs. You may feel self-worth only when you are needed by someone else. Caring little for your own desires, you often know your partner better than they know themselves.
Another saying is, “shame is a useless emotion.” While other negative emotions can have their place (fear, sadness), shame offers nothing to the person feeling it. It is more of a curse than an emotion, one that can only be broken by learning to love oneself. When you join us, you will have every opportunity to resolve long-held shame using holistic approaches.
Success With Our Codependency Treatment Programs in Tucson, AZ
Affirming the unique and worthy person within you is the goal behind everything we do at Sabino Recovery. Codependency thrives when you feel incomplete, and our greatest success is when our residents feel whole and connected. To achieve this, a spectrum of healing is available for an unparalleled treatment experience. In group therapy, individuals can develop healthier relationships in a safe environment. Giving positive comments and holding people accountable can help break through negative relationship cycles.
Family therapy targets dysfunctional interpersonal dynamics in a judgment-free space. Family members learn to understand problematic tendencies in order to repair and strengthen family bonds. The beliefs that lead to harmful relationship patterns can be targeted using cognitive therapy. These sessions may concentrate on learning to cope with unpleasant emotions and altering illogical thinking.
The program at Sabino Recovery works! 35-days of effective integration of customized quality therapy reconnected my mind, body, spirit, and I am worth it! I had masked emotions and hurtful events for decades with alcohol. At Sabino, tools of recovery were practiced, not just presented. Integrative therapies were tailored to my circumstances, This residential program is like no other. For me, Sabino Recovery delivered what was professed. I am forever grateful for this gift of healing.
Pamela
Continuing Care After Our Residential Treatment Program
Your success in recovery is crucial, and that’s why at Sabino, we focus on creating comprehensive continuing care plans. We start discussing the next steps shortly after admission, ensuring you have a robust aftercare plan to maintain progress by the time you complete treatment at our residential rehab center. This ongoing care plan may include options like medication management, ongoing individual therapy, partial hospitalization programs, or outpatient treatment, depending on your needs.
As a participant in our residential rehab, you are entitled to lifelong access to our alumni program. This valuable service, provided at no cost, comes with personalized follow-up, structured group weekly Zoom calls, and alumni reunions. Staying connected with others in recovery ensures a strong support network for your journey ahead.
Shara Turner, LPC, MSC, NCC, NARM
Shara brings to Sabino Recovery a unique perspective and skill set as she spent the majority of her earlier career in public health working with individuals dually diagnosed with a variety of substance use and mental health disorders, complex trauma, and extreme environmental and social inadequacies. The challenges faced in this arena have provided her with a strong base of practice in assessment, treatment, and case management.
Healing At Our Treatment Center
For Codependency
Codependency can lead to toxic relationship dynamics, but Sabino Recovery can help. No one plans to be in a codependent relationship, and it’s no one person’s fault when one develops. No matter how you get there, if you recognize anything mentioned above in yourself or a loved one, there is help available through individual and family therapy.
Contact Sabino Recovery admissions to learn more about our treatment programs and luxury offerings.
